I am sure as a kid everyone remembers having to write that essay when school started in the fall. How I spent my summer vacation. I went to camp morning wood and the bad man touched me and now I see the see the special teacher every day. Well since I was diagnosed with diabetes in May my summer pretty much changed my entire life.
I have had to adopt a new outlook if I want to live to see 50 intact with all my parts. I started a 1800 calorie diabetic low carb diet, started swimming exercise program daily, and started bible study. As of Wednesdays doctor visit I am now down 40 lbs since May 15th 2015. I have my blood sugar under control with meds and diet.
My swim exercise program will be ending on Monday not by my choice. The pool where I live will close for the season. I am really going to miss this part of my daily routine. I will be using an exercise bike and walking to replace the pool. The pool was a big part of my life this summer. It provide some really great spiritual experiences and some humorous ones.
One day the were several bees that had for whatever reason landed in the pool and were swamped. I placed my hand under them raised them out of the water and over to the edge of the pool and set the down on the deck. I watched as they each dried in the sun and then flew off. I wondered what they thought happened to them as they were raied out of the water?
Some days while I exercised I could feel a warm peaceful feeling come over me and all felt right in the world. I knew that God was watching over me. I have been feeling better since I started the bible study daily. Being a Catholic in this country is not cool these days. Having faith and standing for something you believe in will lose you friends but if they don't accept you for who you are they are not worth your friendship.
Tbese are the lessons I have learned over my summer vacation
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
The world is more screwed up every damn day
Each day the battle for sanity in this shitty world gets worse.
Saturday was another day. The man who started me in my career in EMS killed himself. The reason why does not really matter at this time. The fact that he felt that alone and hopeless does say it all though. The Fire service claims it is a brotherhood but where the fuck where they when he needed them the most. Could those self centered cock suckers not see how much he was hurrying and needing someone? I have been there and felt that pain and been about 1/2 pound of pressure away I know what he was feeling and I know what it is to have someone reach out and be there to reel you back from hell.
America itself is fucked up and sick as well. I sweet little robot called Hitchbot was destroyed in Philadelphia. Little guy made it across Canada and Europe. Spends less than 2 weeks in the USA and is fucking destroyed. Simple little social experiment about human kindness and goodwill and we american fuck it up. I really hate our species. I am ready for the next plague or meteor. Totally fine with it can't come soon enough. I am ready to serve our ape overlords or alien overlords.
Fuck this I will be in a blanket fort with cheeze its and my kindle wake me for the end of the world.
Saturday was another day. The man who started me in my career in EMS killed himself. The reason why does not really matter at this time. The fact that he felt that alone and hopeless does say it all though. The Fire service claims it is a brotherhood but where the fuck where they when he needed them the most. Could those self centered cock suckers not see how much he was hurrying and needing someone? I have been there and felt that pain and been about 1/2 pound of pressure away I know what he was feeling and I know what it is to have someone reach out and be there to reel you back from hell.
America itself is fucked up and sick as well. I sweet little robot called Hitchbot was destroyed in Philadelphia. Little guy made it across Canada and Europe. Spends less than 2 weeks in the USA and is fucking destroyed. Simple little social experiment about human kindness and goodwill and we american fuck it up. I really hate our species. I am ready for the next plague or meteor. Totally fine with it can't come soon enough. I am ready to serve our ape overlords or alien overlords.
Fuck this I will be in a blanket fort with cheeze its and my kindle wake me for the end of the world.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Shed a tear
Over the Cliff
June 29, 2015
On June 26, 2015 the SCOTUS ruled on DOMA and redefined marriage in the United States. For many in this country this was a day of celebration and joy. For me it was a day of mixed emotions and contemplation as I realized that the country I was born and raised in finally and went over the cliff and into the abyss of no return. I am a conservative Christian and truly believe that marriage should be between a man and woman as the bible tells us. I believe that homosexual behavior is wrong but I will not condemn anyone or hate them for this behavior. Live and let live.
I try to be well read and versed in as many subjects as possible. I have always aspired to be a truly Socratic man. Canada passed in law their marriage equality laws in 2005 and has had 10 years to deal with the outcomes of this event. Just one outcome was the redefinition of family.
When same-sex marriage was legalized in Canada in 2005, parenting was immediately redefined. Canada’s gay marriage law, Bill C-38, included a provision to erase the term “natural parent” and replace it across the board with gender-neutral “legal parent” in federal law. Now all children only have “legal parents,” as defined by the state. By legally erasing biological parenthood in this way, the state ignores children’s foremost right: their immutable, intrinsic yearning to know and be raised by their own biological parents.
Supporters would have you believe it should be all rainbows and unicorns and everyone is happy all day long but once again the law of unintended consequences always will reveal itself. The LGBT lobby never happy to have just won marriage equality pushed further for laws for restricting free speech and press.
“In Canada, it is considered discriminatory to say that marriage is between a man and a woman or that every child should know and be raised by his or her biological married parents. It is not just politically incorrect in Canada to say so; you can be saddled with tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, fined, and forced to take sensitivity training.
Anyone who is offended by something you have said or written can make a complaint to the Human Rights Commissions and Tribunals. In Canada, these organizations police speech, penalizing citizens for any expression deemed in opposition to particular sexual behaviors or protected groups identified under “sexual orientation.” It takes only one complaint against a person to be brought before the tribunal, costing the defendant tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees. The commissions have the power to enter private residences and remove all items pertinent to their investigations, checking for hate speech.
The plaintiff making the complaint has his legal fees completely paid for by the government. Not so for the defendant. Even if the defendant is found innocent, he cannot recover his legal costs. If he is found guilty, he must pay fines to the person(s) who brought forth the complaint.”
http://www.cnsnews.com/commentary/dawn-stefanowicz/warning-canada-same-sex-marriage-erodes-fundamental-rights
Will this happen here? There is the potential to happen and very quickly just look what happened over the Confederate Flag. Just look at all the retailers that have pulled the flag from stores in the media and mob fuel hysteria over the shooting in South Carolina where the shooter had the flag in home photos. The LGBT lobby is way more powerful and hateful of those who will not bend to their will or point of view.
Once the 1st amendment goes, the 2nd is sure to follow, 3rd no one quarters soldiers anymore until martial laws, the 4th (due process) has not been followed for awhile due to corrupt judges, the 5th is rarely followed most folks don’t know enough to shut up, the 6th is a joke these days with the screwed up back log in the legal system. 7th trial by jury don’t know what is worse trial by knuckle draggers who could not get out of jury duty, zealots wanting to due civic duty or facing a corrupt judge. 8th with the economy all fine are excessive as we all are just getting by day to day. 9th amendment-The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. 10th amendment-The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. These 2 amendments should be keeping us free from our over reaching government and SCOTUS but sadly they are not.
So what does all this meaning? We have gone over a cliff and should just brace for impact and hope we survive. I am going to pull out the crystal ball and make a prediction here…more than likely there will be some type is terror attack this week. The economy will take a major hit in the next six months. There is going to be a major political event/killing in the next 9 months.
June 29, 2015
On June 26, 2015 the SCOTUS ruled on DOMA and redefined marriage in the United States. For many in this country this was a day of celebration and joy. For me it was a day of mixed emotions and contemplation as I realized that the country I was born and raised in finally and went over the cliff and into the abyss of no return. I am a conservative Christian and truly believe that marriage should be between a man and woman as the bible tells us. I believe that homosexual behavior is wrong but I will not condemn anyone or hate them for this behavior. Live and let live.
I try to be well read and versed in as many subjects as possible. I have always aspired to be a truly Socratic man. Canada passed in law their marriage equality laws in 2005 and has had 10 years to deal with the outcomes of this event. Just one outcome was the redefinition of family.
When same-sex marriage was legalized in Canada in 2005, parenting was immediately redefined. Canada’s gay marriage law, Bill C-38, included a provision to erase the term “natural parent” and replace it across the board with gender-neutral “legal parent” in federal law. Now all children only have “legal parents,” as defined by the state. By legally erasing biological parenthood in this way, the state ignores children’s foremost right: their immutable, intrinsic yearning to know and be raised by their own biological parents.
Supporters would have you believe it should be all rainbows and unicorns and everyone is happy all day long but once again the law of unintended consequences always will reveal itself. The LGBT lobby never happy to have just won marriage equality pushed further for laws for restricting free speech and press.
“In Canada, it is considered discriminatory to say that marriage is between a man and a woman or that every child should know and be raised by his or her biological married parents. It is not just politically incorrect in Canada to say so; you can be saddled with tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, fined, and forced to take sensitivity training.
Anyone who is offended by something you have said or written can make a complaint to the Human Rights Commissions and Tribunals. In Canada, these organizations police speech, penalizing citizens for any expression deemed in opposition to particular sexual behaviors or protected groups identified under “sexual orientation.” It takes only one complaint against a person to be brought before the tribunal, costing the defendant tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees. The commissions have the power to enter private residences and remove all items pertinent to their investigations, checking for hate speech.
The plaintiff making the complaint has his legal fees completely paid for by the government. Not so for the defendant. Even if the defendant is found innocent, he cannot recover his legal costs. If he is found guilty, he must pay fines to the person(s) who brought forth the complaint.”
http://www.cnsnews.com/commentary/dawn-stefanowicz/warning-canada-same-sex-marriage-erodes-fundamental-rights
Will this happen here? There is the potential to happen and very quickly just look what happened over the Confederate Flag. Just look at all the retailers that have pulled the flag from stores in the media and mob fuel hysteria over the shooting in South Carolina where the shooter had the flag in home photos. The LGBT lobby is way more powerful and hateful of those who will not bend to their will or point of view.
Once the 1st amendment goes, the 2nd is sure to follow, 3rd no one quarters soldiers anymore until martial laws, the 4th (due process) has not been followed for awhile due to corrupt judges, the 5th is rarely followed most folks don’t know enough to shut up, the 6th is a joke these days with the screwed up back log in the legal system. 7th trial by jury don’t know what is worse trial by knuckle draggers who could not get out of jury duty, zealots wanting to due civic duty or facing a corrupt judge. 8th with the economy all fine are excessive as we all are just getting by day to day. 9th amendment-The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. 10th amendment-The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. These 2 amendments should be keeping us free from our over reaching government and SCOTUS but sadly they are not.
So what does all this meaning? We have gone over a cliff and should just brace for impact and hope we survive. I am going to pull out the crystal ball and make a prediction here…more than likely there will be some type is terror attack this week. The economy will take a major hit in the next six months. There is going to be a major political event/killing in the next 9 months.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Dogs
Recently lost a special little dog here in AZ, Had her for 13 years. Now many of you manly man will scoff at a guy with a chihuahua but they have there advantages as well they dont eat you out of house and home while still being trainable to bark to alert to danger. They are very smart and agile little creatures that can get into many places big dogs cant go. Longer life spans is another added bonus.
Finally found another chihuahua to adopt for myself and my mother. A female 2 year old. I prefer the spayed female. Much easier to train than the males and less issues. This little girl bonded with both of us right away after exploring the home high and low as most chihuahuas will do. Previous owner said she was always very skinny would barely put on weight. After seeing what she was fed it was obvious why. Same food as the large dogs in the previous owners home. Trying to feed a small breed dog food that barely fits in its mouth is crazy. She goobled down a bowl of small bits toy breed science diet and was begging for more but not until evening feeding then another cup full into the bowl.
Its amzing to seeing my mother being healed emotional by this little dog. She has a creature to give her a daily routine again. And the dog has a master who has someone who has time to spend with her unlike her previous owner.
Finally found another chihuahua to adopt for myself and my mother. A female 2 year old. I prefer the spayed female. Much easier to train than the males and less issues. This little girl bonded with both of us right away after exploring the home high and low as most chihuahuas will do. Previous owner said she was always very skinny would barely put on weight. After seeing what she was fed it was obvious why. Same food as the large dogs in the previous owners home. Trying to feed a small breed dog food that barely fits in its mouth is crazy. She goobled down a bowl of small bits toy breed science diet and was begging for more but not until evening feeding then another cup full into the bowl.
Its amzing to seeing my mother being healed emotional by this little dog. She has a creature to give her a daily routine again. And the dog has a master who has someone who has time to spend with her unlike her previous owner.
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Cold Empty Feeling
You wake up and its another day.
More of the same. Rinse Lather Repeat.
Even though your Cheerleader tried to motivate you.
They have their pain and you have yours and its not the same.
You live in a bubble that does not change. They live the world and experience life.
How do you explain color to a man who had been blind since birth?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
Giving up is not an option but a wish
Just another cold lonely day here.
More of the same. Rinse Lather Repeat.
Even though your Cheerleader tried to motivate you.
They have their pain and you have yours and its not the same.
You live in a bubble that does not change. They live the world and experience life.
How do you explain color to a man who had been blind since birth?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
Giving up is not an option but a wish
Just another cold lonely day here.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Sad Day
What can a person say about their dog?
Most people are either a dog or a cat person. I am an animal person. I love most animals and generally dislike most people. I have 2 friends in the state I live in (NO smart ass I dont just live in the state of denial). The last time I actually saw one of these humans in person was a little over 3 years ago. Time and lives get in the way of shit, you know what I mean?
Besides Doctors, Physical Therapists, and Medical Transport Drivers only other human interaction I have is with my Mom. She is the person who keeps me grounded and going on day to day. One of my other best friends in the world was a small brown dog named Salsa. Sweet little dog really. I loved her more the 99% of people I know. She was honest like all animals. If you were an asshole or a bad person she would make it known and not go near you. If you were decent she would love you unconditionally. She was a terrible beggar and panhandler for tablescraps. I know humans are supposed to train dogs but she managed to have me and my mom trained to do her bidding.
For a little Chichuahua she lived a good life but with some medical problems. She had one MCL surgery, MCL strain, rectal surgery, Cancer surgery, and twice sedation for teeth cleaning. Since the rectal surgery she had to have anal glands expressed every 6 weeks and then her claws trimmed at same time. So today I decided to totally up what her total care costs over the years have been and was shocked by the total. $7500 roughly plus whatever her food cost over her 11 years we had her. But to me it was money well spent to help my small friend who more than once kept me from eating a bullet.
This little dogs death has hit me really hard today. I spent 13 years as an EMT. I saw many tragic deaths and people taken way to soon. With the exception of the death of my Dad in 2002 I had not cried this hard in years. Unless you have ever truly loved a dog, scarificed for a dog(money for her cancer surgery was supposed to be for my lasik eye surgery),and sat with them as they breathed their last breath...you really don't know what it means to be a dog person.
Having a dog or a cat is a lifetime commitment. The animals lifetime. Not until you get bored with them. Not until you move to a place that does not allow pets. Hey fucktard your moving? You have an animal find a fucking place that allows animals dipshit! Your new squeeze Mary Jane Rotten Crotch does not like dogs and your dog hate her and your thinking about getting rid of the dog? Are you retarded? If your dog does not like someone 86 them from your life. Animals are always right.
Most people are either a dog or a cat person. I am an animal person. I love most animals and generally dislike most people. I have 2 friends in the state I live in (NO smart ass I dont just live in the state of denial). The last time I actually saw one of these humans in person was a little over 3 years ago. Time and lives get in the way of shit, you know what I mean?
Besides Doctors, Physical Therapists, and Medical Transport Drivers only other human interaction I have is with my Mom. She is the person who keeps me grounded and going on day to day. One of my other best friends in the world was a small brown dog named Salsa. Sweet little dog really. I loved her more the 99% of people I know. She was honest like all animals. If you were an asshole or a bad person she would make it known and not go near you. If you were decent she would love you unconditionally. She was a terrible beggar and panhandler for tablescraps. I know humans are supposed to train dogs but she managed to have me and my mom trained to do her bidding.
For a little Chichuahua she lived a good life but with some medical problems. She had one MCL surgery, MCL strain, rectal surgery, Cancer surgery, and twice sedation for teeth cleaning. Since the rectal surgery she had to have anal glands expressed every 6 weeks and then her claws trimmed at same time. So today I decided to totally up what her total care costs over the years have been and was shocked by the total. $7500 roughly plus whatever her food cost over her 11 years we had her. But to me it was money well spent to help my small friend who more than once kept me from eating a bullet.
This little dogs death has hit me really hard today. I spent 13 years as an EMT. I saw many tragic deaths and people taken way to soon. With the exception of the death of my Dad in 2002 I had not cried this hard in years. Unless you have ever truly loved a dog, scarificed for a dog(money for her cancer surgery was supposed to be for my lasik eye surgery),and sat with them as they breathed their last breath...you really don't know what it means to be a dog person.
Having a dog or a cat is a lifetime commitment. The animals lifetime. Not until you get bored with them. Not until you move to a place that does not allow pets. Hey fucktard your moving? You have an animal find a fucking place that allows animals dipshit! Your new squeeze Mary Jane Rotten Crotch does not like dogs and your dog hate her and your thinking about getting rid of the dog? Are you retarded? If your dog does not like someone 86 them from your life. Animals are always right.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Living A New Life
Well those of you who read this blog know that life has changed for me.
I no longer work for the ambulance with a crew of bumbling idiots serving drunken fools. I no longer work caring for children and helping reunite parents who had their kids taken away by a system that does not always work in the best interst of anyone.
Health issues from 44 years of working a mixed variety of manual labor, road construction, healthcare, and sprinkle in a few motor vehicle accidents for variety has left me with a body that is not up to the challenge of a daily work load anymore. Before you scoff and tell me to fuck off and quit crying boo who. I have the MRI's to back up the pain I live with daily with no pain meds thank you very much.
I am a big guy. 5'10 350lbs. Been working Since I was 16 as a CNA. Grew up on a farma and if you want to get really technical I have been working since about 4 when I could open gates and carry a feed pail and be semi useful and not get run over. This not working for the last 7 months has been an adjustment. It started with blackouts/dizziness and then the MRI revealed the problems with my neck and back along with the blackouts/dizziness.
I was once proud of my work and the good things I accomplished. No I am proud of a good day at physical therapy where I can finish full sets and improve my grip stregth and range of motion in my neck. A good day at home is where Mom does not hear me crying cause I can't drive myself to town to go out on a date or out to dinner with my former coworkers.
I have learned a great deal living this new life. My world has shrunk greatly in the last 7 months.
I no longer work for the ambulance with a crew of bumbling idiots serving drunken fools. I no longer work caring for children and helping reunite parents who had their kids taken away by a system that does not always work in the best interst of anyone.
Health issues from 44 years of working a mixed variety of manual labor, road construction, healthcare, and sprinkle in a few motor vehicle accidents for variety has left me with a body that is not up to the challenge of a daily work load anymore. Before you scoff and tell me to fuck off and quit crying boo who. I have the MRI's to back up the pain I live with daily with no pain meds thank you very much.
I am a big guy. 5'10 350lbs. Been working Since I was 16 as a CNA. Grew up on a farma and if you want to get really technical I have been working since about 4 when I could open gates and carry a feed pail and be semi useful and not get run over. This not working for the last 7 months has been an adjustment. It started with blackouts/dizziness and then the MRI revealed the problems with my neck and back along with the blackouts/dizziness.
I was once proud of my work and the good things I accomplished. No I am proud of a good day at physical therapy where I can finish full sets and improve my grip stregth and range of motion in my neck. A good day at home is where Mom does not hear me crying cause I can't drive myself to town to go out on a date or out to dinner with my former coworkers.
I have learned a great deal living this new life. My world has shrunk greatly in the last 7 months.
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