Another Sunday

Another Sunday at work. Doing the 48 hour weekend shift. I love it because there is no administration on the property. Work is work, started year 13 as an EMT-Basic. I have surpassed the burnout phase and turned it into career. This last month has been one of change and acceptance for me. My mother; who I have lived with and stayed in this god forsaken desert to take care of because of a promise to my dying Father in 2002, finally admitted to herself that she can no longer work and quit drawing her unemployment after her wrongful termination this past February. This is a blessing and curse for me as now she is dealing with the depression of being dependent on me financially with no way to control the situation. I make a decent living and have plenty of time off. No wife and no kids so all my income goes to my small bills and student loans. She has really had no idea what I earn as all it has been is an abstract concept that I would always buy groceries and give her whatever she asked for or buy whatever she wanted with no thought to the price. We had a screaming match over my buying of a $2500 1980 Ford Bronco as a second vehicle for myself and a project to fiddle with as it is something I really miss doing since I have been trapped in this existence in this desert wasteland. I finally changed all insurance-renters and auto into my own name and found more reasonable prices. She freaked. I finally showed her my tax return from 2011 and told her I am on course to make $3000 over last year. She read the numbers twice and shut the hell up.

A sweet older neighbor lady that is my Mom's best friend asked me to come over to her home to explain her doctors paper work to her. While there I vented my frustration to this sweet lady who now claims me as an adopted grandson. I told her everything. She said while you are at work she would have a talk with my Mom and give her a reality check. She said my Mom is totally spoiled and does not realize she is the envy of the neighbors having a devoted son who caters to her every whim and asks for nothing other that some peace and quiet the night before he goes on duty at the ambulance. I further explained when this sweet lady asked why I did not go to Med School to become a Doctor. I told her I was conditionally accepted at a Physicians Assistant School in Las Vegas but could not go and work full-time and go to school full-time while caring for Mom. To say she was utterly shocked would be an understatement. Well I worked and came home and my Mom's attitude was changed. I am pretty sure my neighbor gave my Mom an ear full.

This years help someone out before the holiday's project has been my best friend Dani. I got her a decent running car from a guy I work with at the ambulance. Its a land yacht but mechanically sound with a few minor things to fix. I am doing all I can to help her get on her feet again and out of her parents home where her and her children are not treated that well. She is a hard worker with a few health issues but she is really striving to get independent again. She got a job the next day after getting the car. She has done hair for several years and is an instructor as well. She is really talented and its nice to watch her life improving though some minor help from me.

I finally went back to church after another 2 year hiatus. I did a full confession and started attending mass again. Its not cool to be a Catholic in today's jaded society but I was never cool anyway. I forgot the comfort that attending mass and going through the rituals of catholic faith brings me. Now if I could find a woman who would want to love me and have a family I could become a whole man again and move forward in my life. Just have to have a little faith and hope for the best.